Transition

This week marks a transition for our family. Our nanny, K., is moving back home to her town near Peoria to be closer to her family, friends and boyfriend. Her last day was Friday. My last day at work before starting maternity leave was also Friday. Beginning this week, I am home full-time for five months with AJ and his new brother or sister. I am looking forward to it. I like being the person who knows the most about AJ--what he ate for lunch, how long he napped, whether he is having a good day. I want to see the little day-to-day developments that are easy to miss when I only see him for three hours a day.

That said, it is intimidating. Now when I am with him three hours a day and on the weekends, I am focused on being with him and have more energy to focus on mothering. When I was home with AJ before, there were moments when I felt overwhelmed by having one child. Now there will be two! I am reminding myself of the things that I learned last time around--to focus on the things that absolutely need to get done, to sleep when I can, to make food for the next day the night before after the baby has gone to bed, etc. I was talking with my mother-in-law tonight and mentioned that I am ready to have this baby today. She encouraged me to enjoy the relative calm before the storm and let the baby takes its time because once it arrives, you have moments when you wish it was back in the womb again when your body just took care the baby's needs automatically without any crying or fussing. Spoken like a woman who had four children! I distinctly remember thinking that same thought several times after AJ was born and wishing that I could turn back the clock to when I was pregnant so that I could go to the bookstore and browse the aisles or go out to dinner with Joe.