First Play Date!

Today AJ is 17 days old. Out of my own need to get out of the house and connect with other people, we had our first play date with my friend, Corey, who has a daughter who was born in March, and Corey's friend Julie, who has a son who was born the day before AJ. To be honest, I almost chickened out of the play date this morning, because it was a little intimidating to get AJ packed up and to brave the half hour drive down to Corey's place solo, especially after he cried in the car yesterday all the way home from the pediatrician's office. I have a really hard time hearing the baby cry and feeling like I can't do anything to help, and when he is belted into the car seat and I am driving, there is really nothing that I can do to ease his anxiety. The only thing that kept me going was the fear that AJ would be two and I would still feel scared to leave the house with him.



So we sucked it up and plowed through getting out the door, which of course involved getting him in the car seat (lots of tears and wrestling him into the straps) only to have him spit up all over himself, requiring a change of clothes, a second nursing to calm him down again and the car seat wrestling routine, take 2. He did cry in the car, but thankfully stopped by the time we hit the junction on the Kennedy. In fact, he stopped crying so suddenly that I became worried he had spit up again and was suffocating in it while I continued driving along the Kennedy, completely ignorant that my own child was dying in the backseat. I could hear the newscaster for the evening news reading the lead-in to the story of my own neglect: "Suburban mom drives all the way downtown without realizing that her newborn baby is dead in his carseat. More on this outrageous story at 10." Of course, we haven't gotten around to installing the mirror that lets the driver see the baby's face in the rear-facing car seat, so I debated at every exit whether I should pull over to check on him. No, I told myself, that semitruck driver who just passed us can definitely see into our car, and surely he would have honked and let me know if the kid was turning blue in the backseat. Plus, pulling over to alleviate paranoid worries would make me that mom, and I was determined not to become that mom.



AJ was still breathing when we arrived at Corey's, which got us off to a good start for the play date. He actually slept through the entire first two hours that we were there while the other babies nursed (the newborn), and played and cooed (the 3-4 month old). Only when we were getting ready to leave did he wake up.

First Tub Bath

Today our family friend, Ginny Maikler, came over to help me give AJ his first full tub bath. Ginny is the former head of pediatric nursing at a local hospital, so this was just the expert I needed to help me gain some confidence on combining a squirming newborn with soap and water.

It was amazing to watch Ginny with the little guy. From her experience working with babies over the years, she has developed a way of talking to them that really seems to connect--he was watching her so intently and seemed to be listening to what she had to say. It was also incredibly helpful for me to watch the way she introduced him slowly to the new concept of a bath and to the sensation of having water on his skin. She started by cuddling him in a towel and rocking him until he was in a mellow mood and then introduced the water by rubbing a little onto his head while he was still wrapped in the snuggly towel. When he accepted the water on his head without completely freaking out, she eased him into the tub by first dipping his bottom into the water and then scooping warm water onto his chest. She also had good tips for other ways to make him more comfortable in the tub, like placing a warm, wet washcloth on the backrest and another on his chest so that his torso would be warm and feel the same warm water sensation that the rest of his body was getting.

I think the most helpful part of the bath tutorial was seeing how her calm demeanor put the baby at ease. Ginny was constantly watching his reaction to the changes she was introducing, and if his body stiffened or he showed other early signs of a negative reaction, she would either slow down to give him time to adjust to the new sensation or try something different to avoid the total meltdown. The experience made me realize that while a good part of mothering is trusting your own instincts like everyone advises, there is also an important element of skill in reading a baby that develops over time.

First Stroller Ride

AJ's Chicago Grandma came over today to help me take him out for his first stroller ride. We didn't make it far, but it felt great to get out of the apartment. We went around the block to the local neighborhood pool and watched the big kids playing in the water for a while. We promised AJ that he could try out the pool next summer. He didn't seem that concerned on missing out on the fun this year. I have to admit that after a week and a half of taking care of a newborn, it was inspiring to see that kids do grow up and become relatively autonomous.

The other day I was watching out the window as a mother and her one-year old son exited their car in the parking lot across the street. It looked like they were running errands, and I was completely absorbed watching the ease with which she was able to scoop him out of his car seat, hoist him onto her hip, grab the diaper bag and cruise off to wherever they were going without a second thought. The few times we have left the apartment so far have felt like a space shuttle launch because we have so much gear and require a large crew and a checklist to get everything in sync. I am looking forward to the day when we will be able to run to the dry cleaners without a second thought.

Father's Day

We celebrated Father's Day with Joe and his family with a cookout in the Liss family backyard. This was the perfect inaugural Father's Day for Joe, because he often spent Father's Day as a kid doing cookouts in the backyard, so it was all very nostalgic. It was neat to see the three generations of Liss males together, and I snapped a photo to commemorate the day (see attached).

Joe is the kind of guy who does not like extravagant presents that require spending more than $20, so AJ and I went in on a Bob Marley lullabye CD for daddy. Joe was initally pretty pumped about it since he listened to a lot of Bob Marley in high school and college, but our amateur critic's review after one song was that Bob Marley would not be proud to have his name associated with the watered-down elevator music that was on the CD. It definitely involves a xylophone. We should have gone with the traditional socks-and-undershirts present or a tie...

The Little Guy's First Week

Now that we have a baby, we have decided to join the 21st century and set up a blog as an efficient way to give family and friends the update on the little guy.

Andrew John was born on Sunday, June 10th at 8:42 a.m. He shocked us (and our doctor, who had predicted a 7.5 lb baby) by weighing in at 10 lbs, 4 oz and measuring 22 inches in length. There were a few bumps along the road during labor, including back labor, meconium present when my water broke and shoulder dystocia. The dystocia means that Andrew's shoulders became temporarily stuck on the way out due to his large size, and we found out after the birth that the medical team has to work quickly to get the baby out without permanent brain or nerve damage. Our doctor did an excellent job of getting Andrew out by working with one of the nurses to do something called the "corkscrew maneuver," which from my perspective seemed to involve a nurse pushing down very hard on my stomach to give some extra power to my push while the doctor rotated the baby.

We were very thankful that we had an amazing doula from Chicago Doula Care who guided us through the birth process. With her help, we were able to get through the labor without pain medication. Joe was also a huge support during labor because he was the only one who could apply sufficient counterpressure to my back during contractions to get me through the back labor.

In the week after Andrew's birth, we were initally beefing up his caloric intake with a supplemental nursing system ("SNS") because the hospital staff was concerned that he needed additional calories due to his large size. The SNS system involved significant extra work at feeding time and also required me to pump breastmilk after regular feedings, so we were relieved when Andrew had maintained a good weight for his first pediatrician's appointment and we were able to discontinue the use of the SNS and the pump. We are all getting more sleep now, which is great.

Things that surprised me during the first week (other than the baby's size) included that they let you go home from the hospital with very little instruction on what to do with the baby. I was also surprised by the noises the little guy makes when he is hungry--my favorite is a snuffling noise that sounds a little bit like a pig's grunts (in a cute way). We refer to it as snorking.

We had lots of visitors during our first week to help us welcome Andrew, including all of the grandparents, Uncle Andy, Uncle John, Aunt Annie, Uncle Dave, Uncle Will and Great Uncle Roger. My mom came and stayed with us, which was a huge help. We could not have made it through that first week without her! We have posted the pictures of AJ's first week here.