Our Chunky Monkey

Look at this guy! We went to the doctor this week for a sleep consultation, and he weighed in at 17.5 lbs, moving him up to the 98th percentile on weight for his age. We are considering entering him in a baby sumo wrestling competition.

AJ's Personality

A friend recently asked me what AJ's personality is like. For the first few months of his life, I kept telling myself and anyone else who asked that AJ was an easy, laid-back baby. When I wrote a thank you note to Joe's boss for a baby gift, I said something to the effect that we felt fortunate to have a laid-back baby to ease us into parenting. Joe read the note over before I sent it out and asked whose baby I was talking about, because that description did not fit AJ.

This week I went to lunch with two other moms and babies from the Tummy Time group, and I realized during the three hours that we were at the restaurant that AJ is not an easy, laid-back baby. We arrived at the restaurant after a great two-hour morning nap, so being tired was not a factor. While the other babies were content to lay in their strollers looking up at the clouds and trees or to sit on their mom's lap, AJ would speak up every 10 to 15 minute and fuss until I had changed positions with him, given him a new toy or interacted with him one-on-one. One of the other moms even had to offer to hold him so that I could eat. But once he had this change of scene or activity, he was content again. I think I had desperately wanted the laid-back description to fit him at first because I associated easy and laid-back with a "good" baby. When people run into you on the street and the baby is quiet, they always say "what a good baby," as though a baby who happens to be crying at that moment is a bad baby. But I am starting to realize that an active baby is also a great baby. Active babies tend to like physical games, a variety of activities, and are highly interested in the world around them and excited to see new things. Like a lot of things in life, it is a matter of embracing and working to enhance what you've got, rather than trying to become something else.

Before having a baby, I was skeptical of the idea that babies are born with a personality. After having AJ, I believe it. Baby's First Year Journal by A. Christine Harris that describes the several different temperament characteristics of babies, including the following:

Activity level-ranges from busy (high activity level) to sedate (low activity level). Babies who have high activity levels tend to move during diapering, while babies with low activity levels show little movement during sleep. This one is the easiest one for me to see where AJ would fall. He is clearly a busy baby. He practices his high kicks during diaper changes and runs a marathon of high-hurdles every night in bed.

Distractibility-ranges from single-minded (not distractible) to willing to compromise (highly distractible). Babies who are not distractible often cry during diapering, while babies who are highly distractible may be more easily comforted by rocking or other soothing activities. Our guy probably tends toward being single-minded (like his dad!)

Rhythmicity-ranges from regular (meaning high in rhythmicity or highly predictable) to irregular (low in rhythmicity or unpredictable). This one is also easy for me to apply to AJ, because as much as I try to get him on a routine, he is all over the place on feeding and sleep times. He marches to the beat of his own drummer.

Adaptability-ranges from stressed by new events (not adaptable) to adjusts to change easily (highly adaptable). Babies who are not adaptable tend to be startled and distressed by sudden noises and resist diapering. Babies who are highly adaptable enjoy bath time. This one is a hard call, because AJ generally is not a fan of having his diaper changed, but he loves bath time. He is probably somewhere in the middle.

The book stresses that none of these temperament traits are good or bad or advanced or slow, just different.

My Jinbei

Our friends, Jim and Rika, live in Japan and sent a beautiful Jinbei for Andrew. Jim's note that he enclosed with the gift is priceless:

"Congratulations! On the birth of your son AJ. AJ is big! Rika was surprised. In the box is a traditional Japanese summer garment called a 'Jinbei', pronounced 'Gin Bay'. It is the casual clothes of a gentleman when it is too hot to wear a kimono. It's stylish and cool. Just what the young lad needs!"

We couldn't agree more. It was back in the 80s today in Chicago--perfect weather for the Jinbei.

Jumperoo!

AJ has a new favorite toy called a Jumperoo! It is today's safety-minded version of a johnny jump-up that we played with as kids. Rather than being attached to a door frame that forms a potential wooden death trap around a kid like a johnny jump-up, the Jumperoo is free-standing and takes up half of the living room with its massive frame. It is worth the space hog, though, because he loves it so darn much.

P.S.--Did I mention that I assembled this toy myself without assistance?!?

Who Turned Off the Heat?

Yesterday we woke up with record lows in Chicago of 32 degrees, so AJ got to wear a sweater and a hat for the first time. I didn't have the heart to tell him that it gets much, much worse in Chicagoland. As a summer baby, he has so far only known the absolute joy of a perfect Midwest summer without the accompanying agony of the punishing winter. Come January, we'll see if he is made of hearty Midwestern stock.

Blue Dog

At the recommendation of one of my sleep books, I decided to try to develop a "lovie" for AJ. The idea is to get him attached to a little blanket so that it will comfort him when he needs to fall asleep. I never had a lovie as a child, but I vividly remember my sister's "bunny blankie" that she dragged around and took to bed with her for years. Based on her attachment to that thing, I thought the suggestion was worth a shot for AJ.

AJ is still too young to have a loose blanket in the crib with him, but I thought it would be a good idea to get the attachment process started. The books suggests cuddling with the blanket between mom and baby while nursing, and that mom should wear the blanket inside her shirt for a few hours to get her smell on it. We did the former but skipped the latter suggestion. I was surprised by how quickly AJ took to this little blue blanket with the stuffed dog's head attached to it, but he loves to rub his face against it and to suck on the little dog's ears and nose. Recently during a long drive home from downtown on the expressway, AJ alternated between sucking on the blanket and squealing with delight in the poor dog's ears. I have given it the very original name of Blue Dog, so get ready to hear AJ talk about Blue Dog for years to come. When AJ is 12, he will probably have a raggedy, much-loved Blue Dog hidden away on a shelf in his closet, out of sight from his friends but still a prized possession.

Tummy Time

Andrew and I had our first Tummy Time class through the Park District that week. I will share the story of registering for the Tummy Time class, because it epitomizes for me the scary trap of competition that is easy to fall into as a parent. The local park district sent out its schedule of fall classes in the mail in early August, and I was excited to register for a few as a way to meet people in our new community since we moved to the suburbs shortly before Andrew was born.

So when the park district catalog came in the mail, I noticed that it said "Registration begins August 13 at 7 a.m. Doors open at 6 a.m. Mail and fax registrations are processed after all walk-in registrations." I thought it was some kind of joke that people would get in line at 6 a.m. to register for recreational activities, but a phone call to the park district office confirmed that this is indeed the case and that getting into classes is most competitive for younger children (perhaps because the parents are desperate to get out of the house). I set the alarm for 5:30 a.m. and arrived bleary-eyed at 6:10 a.m. only to find that there were already 24 people in front of me to register. The first thing I noticed was that I was a complete sucker for going myself, because the vast majority of people in line were husbands who had probably been given the choice of staying home with the kids or getting Dunkin' Donuts and reading the paper while waiting in this ridiculous line. The second thing I realized was that I was furtively trying to see which classes the guy next to me had written down on his paper, because I was worried that husbands 1-24 in line had been sent by wives who were at home in bed with their newborns and were desperate to get one of the 10 slots in Tummy Time.

At 6:30, a park district employee started making his way down the line checking people's drivers licenses to verify that they lived within the city limits of the suburb. Apparently people actually try to sneak in from other suburbs. By 6:50, the line stretched all the way down the hall and around the corner with at least 200 people in it. The registration window opened for business promptly at 7:00, and the woman behind the counter actually time-stamped each form in the order received.

Did I mention that this is all for fun activities like soccer leagues and yoga? I hated myself for buying into the competition by showing up in person to register and being a part of it all, and yet I also felt for the first time the competitive feeling all parents must get when resources are limited--I want my child to have the opportunity to participate. Am I going to end up like that mom in Texas who hired a hit man to kill the mother of another girl who was competing with her daughter for a spot on the cheerleading squad? I think there is still a line somewhere there that we have not come close to crossing.

So after all that, on the first day of Tummy Time class a dad and his baby strolled in 30 minutes late and apologized, explaining that he had just decided to sign up for the class on a whim that morning. It was a good lesson to me not to buy into the hype. I could have stayed in bed all morning on registration day.

The pictures above are of AJ playing with his new Tummy Time toy that works like a lazy Susan he can spin around on while looking at the various activities on the flower petal mat.

Three Month Update

Since we don't have another pediatrician appointment until October, we don't have a height and weight update on AJ, but I wanted to post the monthly picture to show how much chubbier his legs and tummy have become. In the last month I have also noticed he is becoming more alert, has more control over his head, and has really started to babble quite a bit. He is also a prolific generator of dirty diapers. The other morning, Joe and I noted that he had produced seven dirty diapers in the first seven hours he was awake. Impressive!

The pictures from top to bottom are AJ at 3 months, 2 months and 1 month. Note how he seems to be losing, rather than gaining, hair as he grows.

Diaper Duty

Diaper duty definitely ranks near the top of the list of things that Joe and I do differently in parenting. I have noticed that our styles are similar to our approaches to another repetitive, thankless household task of making the bed. As a sleeper who doesn't move much, I have always made a bed by tugging up the sheets, straightening the pillows and calling it good for the day. It looks presentable, but Martha Stewart certainly is not calling me to shoot her next magazine cover of my bed. Similarly, for diaper changes my approach is swipe, wipe, get out of there and get on with playtime, storytime, etc.

Joe, on the other hand, strips the bed down to the fitted sheet each and every time he makes it, perfectly smoothing and tucking in each layer and obsessively arranging the top sheet bottom-side down so that it will be top-side up when folded back. He could easily start working as a hotel maid at a five star joint with little or no training. With diapers, he is the Inspector General of bottoms. The other day when I had changed a particularly messy diaper and Joe stepped in to pinch hit for me on closing up the new diaper while I washed up, he noted that I had missed a spot on AJ's little guy parts that was the size of a freckle or smaller. I found it quite humorous when Joe informed me that it is "insulting" for a guy to have anything less than scrupulously clean guy parts. He feels a strong fatherly sense of responsibility to look out for his little boy that I find very sweet.

Where Does Dad Go All Day?

On Thursday, we took AJ to Joe's office so that the little guy could see where dad goes all day and introduce AJ to Joe's colleagues. Joe let AJ bang away at his computer keyboard, so AJ now thinks that his dad has the Best Job Ever.

Not a Napper

We have been blessed with a little boy who is a good sleeper at night, so I almost feel guilty saying anything negative about his sleep habits, but he is a horrible napper. His Grandma Liss likes to say AJ won't nap because he can't bear to miss anything that's going on around him. We received the little onesie in the picture above from a colleague of mine, and I have been dressing AJ in it frequently hoping that the power of positive suggestion will set in. In the meantime, I bought four sleep books like a good alpha mom and am trying to figure out how to "manage" this problem.

Toys, Toys, Toys

In the last two or three weeks, AJ has begun to figure out that the things I wave in front of him are intended for his enjoyment. It was a lesson to me in letting him explore on his own. I had unsuccessfully tried to wrap his hand around the toy a few times, but it wasn't until I left him in the seat alone with it on his lap for five minutes that he figured it out. Now he's getting pretty good at enthusiastically grabbing the toy and smashing it into his face to gnaw on.