AJ's Personality

A friend recently asked me what AJ's personality is like. For the first few months of his life, I kept telling myself and anyone else who asked that AJ was an easy, laid-back baby. When I wrote a thank you note to Joe's boss for a baby gift, I said something to the effect that we felt fortunate to have a laid-back baby to ease us into parenting. Joe read the note over before I sent it out and asked whose baby I was talking about, because that description did not fit AJ.

This week I went to lunch with two other moms and babies from the Tummy Time group, and I realized during the three hours that we were at the restaurant that AJ is not an easy, laid-back baby. We arrived at the restaurant after a great two-hour morning nap, so being tired was not a factor. While the other babies were content to lay in their strollers looking up at the clouds and trees or to sit on their mom's lap, AJ would speak up every 10 to 15 minute and fuss until I had changed positions with him, given him a new toy or interacted with him one-on-one. One of the other moms even had to offer to hold him so that I could eat. But once he had this change of scene or activity, he was content again. I think I had desperately wanted the laid-back description to fit him at first because I associated easy and laid-back with a "good" baby. When people run into you on the street and the baby is quiet, they always say "what a good baby," as though a baby who happens to be crying at that moment is a bad baby. But I am starting to realize that an active baby is also a great baby. Active babies tend to like physical games, a variety of activities, and are highly interested in the world around them and excited to see new things. Like a lot of things in life, it is a matter of embracing and working to enhance what you've got, rather than trying to become something else.

Before having a baby, I was skeptical of the idea that babies are born with a personality. After having AJ, I believe it. Baby's First Year Journal by A. Christine Harris that describes the several different temperament characteristics of babies, including the following:

Activity level-ranges from busy (high activity level) to sedate (low activity level). Babies who have high activity levels tend to move during diapering, while babies with low activity levels show little movement during sleep. This one is the easiest one for me to see where AJ would fall. He is clearly a busy baby. He practices his high kicks during diaper changes and runs a marathon of high-hurdles every night in bed.

Distractibility-ranges from single-minded (not distractible) to willing to compromise (highly distractible). Babies who are not distractible often cry during diapering, while babies who are highly distractible may be more easily comforted by rocking or other soothing activities. Our guy probably tends toward being single-minded (like his dad!)

Rhythmicity-ranges from regular (meaning high in rhythmicity or highly predictable) to irregular (low in rhythmicity or unpredictable). This one is also easy for me to apply to AJ, because as much as I try to get him on a routine, he is all over the place on feeding and sleep times. He marches to the beat of his own drummer.

Adaptability-ranges from stressed by new events (not adaptable) to adjusts to change easily (highly adaptable). Babies who are not adaptable tend to be startled and distressed by sudden noises and resist diapering. Babies who are highly adaptable enjoy bath time. This one is a hard call, because AJ generally is not a fan of having his diaper changed, but he loves bath time. He is probably somewhere in the middle.

The book stresses that none of these temperament traits are good or bad or advanced or slow, just different.